“Friendship is a strong and habitual inclination in two persons to promote the good and happiness of one another.” – Eustace Budgell
Or, to put it another way, “The person with the greater need comes first.” This obviously applies to families as well, but the “greater need” part can be tricky to discern. A child with the flu is quite different from a whiny child who is bored; a partner with a need for some space quite different from one who is depressed. We need to be mindful of our own needs, too. It takes some thought.
Am I being a good friend these days?
“E-cigarettes have the same physiological effects on the brain and may pose the same risk of addiction to other drugs as regular cigarettes, especially in adolescence during a critical period of brain development. We don’t yet know whether e-cigarettes will prove to be a gateway to the use of conventional cigarettes and illicit drugs, but that’s certainly a possibility. Nicotine clearly acts as a gateway drug on the brain, and this effect is likely to occur whether the exposure comes from smoking cigarettes, passive tobacco smoke, or e-cigarettes.”
Craft said other researchers, like Margaret Haney at the Columbia University Medical Center, have shown that women are more susceptible to cannabis abuse and dependence than men. Haney has documented a cannabis withdrawal syndrome of irritability, sleep disruption and decreased food intake that Craft said tends to be more severe in women. Women also have a greater tendency to relapse when trying to stop using the drug.
“Lookin’ for a home – gotta have a home…”
The Boll Weevil Song
“Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to let you in.”
Robert Frost, The Death of the Hired Man
Most of us have heard that line from the famous poem in one form or another. It sounds great when you say it, but many of us addicts have discovered that it’s a cruel joke. Some of us were never let in, even when we lived there physically. Others of us were rejected – perhaps as a result of our addictions, or perhaps for other reasons. Some of us were ashamed, and rejected home and family because we imagined that we saw ourselves reflected in their eyes. Not a few of us left as soon as we could for other reasons. The last thing we want – and the thing we want most – is to go back, and we have no idea what might happen if we did.
It’s well-known that stress is a major precursor to relapse. This health bulletin from the University of Alabama is practically required reading for folks in recovery, especially from alcohol.
“The body doesn’t distinguish between ‘bad’ stress from life or work and ‘good’ stress caused by game-day excitement,” Gilchrist said. “It impacts your health either way.”