Comments on: Who Are The “Winners?” http://whatmesober.com/2008/07/22/who-are-the-winners/ Sun, 12 Feb 2012 19:39:07 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.com/ By: zenbear http://whatmesober.com/2008/07/22/who-are-the-winners/comment-page-1/#comment-765 Wed, 16 Sep 2009 10:47:48 +0000 http://whatmesober.com/2008/07/22/taking-other-peoples-inventory/#comment-765 Bill
I have some problems with this bit of sloganeering. In order to have winners, there must be losers, and I’m unwilling to regard others in this way. We each have our challenges and struggles, and what is a “win” for one, may be a failure for another. I include this under the heading of “minding my own business.” to some degree, I’d have to consider anyone who has found an AA meeting to be “winning” at least in the moment.

I’ve learned to mind my own business, which is usually listening to the e,s & h of a speaker:…how it was, what changed and how it is now. The more experience they have with recovery, and the more apparent that is to me, the more I will value their input. Certainly, I look for integrity, but the fact is that we see what we are looking for, and what seemed true to me in the early daze has often been revealed as unreliable later on.

When I encounter someone who seems to “have what I want,” I make it a practice to ask them how they got it….to share that e,s & h with me. And what “I want” is what I want….not what others may think I ought to want.

We may not be able to stop judging others, but the winners/losers labelling seems to me to be a condemnation of the so-called losers, and not very tolerant or loving, AA being “the language of the heart.”

blessings

zenbear

You are certainly entitled to your opinion. However, that philosophy has kept me sober for 20 years, and I find myself uninterested in changing it. One does not stay sober by hanging around with people on the edge of relapse, but by sponsoring them.

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