They’re not kidding when they say you end up right back where you left off in a very short time. That’s because you re-open the old neural pathways, so it doesn’t take very long for things to get back to (ab)normal in terms of your brain and CNS’s handling of drugs.

The good news is, you’re back. The bad news is, yes, you’ll probably experience PAWS for quite some time. See above. However, a) You know what it is now, so it won’t be sneaking up on you as badly; and b) You already have a support group in place, so you won’t have to build one from scratch. Don’t worry about going back to meetings and being embarrassed. All those folks have been exactly where you are. Practically no one makes it without at least one relapse. (You were going to meetings, weren’t you?)

Remember that early recovery is all about keeping stress down. One of the worst things you can do is beat yourself up and dwell on the time you”wasted.” Don’t forget it, but don’t look at it as a loss, either. The whole recovery journey is about learning, and you had a useful lesson, if you’ll allow yourself to look at it that way.

Take some time and look back on what happened BEFORE you picked up. Relapse is a process, not an event, and it occurs well before the drugs. I relapsed twice early on, and never touched a drink or a drug. Might as well have, though. I was the same old drunk and druggie, feeling the same, acting the same. Write down what you did, how you were feeling in the months, weeks and days prior to picking up, and put it someplace where you can find it. Refer to it occasionally. I suggest keeping a journal. Writing every day is good self-discipline, and it gives you a valuable record of your head’s location during some turbulent times. Write down the bad and the good. No one has to see it but you. It will be useful during your 4th Step, and it’s a good way to collect your thoughts as part of your nightly 10th Step.

(I carry a sturdy hip-pocket notebook — Moleskine reporter style with graph paper, since you asked — and make notes all day, but that’s partly because I suffer from old-timer’s disease and need to write stuff down before I forget about it.)

My best advice, apart from going to meetings, getting a sponsor, etc. is to read the PAWS article, make notes or print it out and highlight stuff, try to do the next right thing, and get on with your life.

And remember: only you can prevent junkies.