Category Archives: 12-step stuff

(She’s) Just Curried

“The sun finally shone in Southern California……and like they say without the rain, there can’t be rainbows.They were a tough couple of days earlier this week. Raining outside, raining tears on the inside. Bewildered. Why was I feeling so sad? … Continue reading

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I heard a gal tell a judge in court she was clean and sober, and he said she was clean but not sober. What does that mean? What is the difference between clean and/or clean and sober?

We are clean when the drugs (including alcohol, which is just another drug) are no longer in our system.  But there is a whole lot more to sobriety than simply being drug-free.  I sometimes tell people that I’ve been clean … Continue reading

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Stuck On The Bridge?

“…There is a mountain of difference between worshiping the Big Book and adopting the Twelve Step design for living that is its message. You may have experienced with folks so focused on THE BOOK and THE INVENTORY that they never … Continue reading

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Hosting an Addict or Alcoholic

Social occasions that involve people in recovery—especially early recovery—can pose some perplexing problems for the hosts. On one hand, a host who is aware of a guest’s need to avoid mood-altering substances may wish to do what is possible to … Continue reading

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What do cross addiction and cross dependence mean?

All addictions work in the same parts of the brain, by modifying or imitating the production of neurotransmitters that cause pleasant feelings. This is as true of shopping addiction as it is of heroin. Thus, people who have taught themselves … Continue reading

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How long does it take to recover after you quit smoking?

Most people find that they are reasonably comfortable after a couple of months.  It is the readjustment of your brain to living without foreign stimulation that takes a long time. Experts believe that it never completely recovers, because a very … Continue reading

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Romancing the Stoned

I was at a meeting this evening that bothered me a lot.  Several of the members, most of them relative newcomers, including a couple with only two or three months, commented in their sharing about what kinds of wine they … Continue reading

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Hosting People In Recovery For The Holidays

Social occasions that involve people in recovery—especially early recovery—can pose some perplexing problems for the hosts. On one hand, a host who is aware of a guest’s need to avoid mood-altering substances may wish to do what is possible to … Continue reading

Posted in 12-step stuff, addiction, alcoholism, co-deps, codependency, family, living, recovery | 2 Comments

I was just thinking about spirituality…

In a recent conversation, I spoke about what I perceive as the differences between the spiritual life demanded by our program of recovery, and religion.  The guy I was talking to remarked, “Well, I don’t see why we have to … Continue reading

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Sought, through prayer and meditation…

Step 10.  Continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it. Step 11.  Sought, through prayer and meditation, to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will … Continue reading

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Sharing at Meetings: Keeping it in the “I”

None of us — especially alcoholics, addicts and codependents — like to be told what we “should” be doing. We’ve been working on this problem for (hours, days, weeks…decades) and some clown thinks all the answers can be found in … Continue reading

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“Undrunk” Is A Really Good Read…however…

I’m just finishing Undrunk – A Skeptic’s Guide to AA, by A. J. Adams (Hazelden, 2009).  Undrunk may be the most lucid explanation of what AA is (and is not), how it functions and “how it works” that I’ve ever … Continue reading

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Q&A: Is it harder for a smoker to give up smoking than for an alcoholic to give up drinking, and are the two comparable at all?

It is obvious to those of us who have worked in the addiction field, especially we who are in recovery ourselves, that the degree of desire is a key factor in recovery from any addiction. To put it simply, people … Continue reading

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Some Remarks (quite a few, actually) About Spirituality in 12-Step Programs

One Day at a Time I wish folks who do not meditate would NOT go around the AA fellowship telling everyone that they have done the steps and practice these principles in all their affairs. It’s a LIE!

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Didn’t we all go through this?

Another Real Alcoholic I never used to be able to show up consistently. I would either call in sick or just not show up at all if I thought I could “get away” with it. I never got away with … Continue reading

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