Rodney

Rodney Memorial for blogMy friend Rodney died a couple of weeks ago.  I have wanted to write something about him, and just couldn’t; it wouldn’t happen.  But after his memorial service last night, I made a journal entry that I’ll share with you instead.  It says about all that needs to be shared.  [Minor edits for readability]

7/2/14 — God has a well-honed sense of irony, if not humor.  After one of the most heart-wrenching — and uplifting — grief experiences of my life last night, today’s little [meditation] homily is about acceptance of the fact of death.

Rodney’s memorial service was the most wonderful thing!  The theme was the ocean, which he loved.  They had a beautiful little ceremony where you could go up and dip your hands in some ocean water, with the central of three bowls surrounded by seashells. (I brought a tiny one home to remember him by — not that it’s ever likely to prove difficult.)

But the most amazing part was the things people had to say about him!  It wasn’t the usual platitudes, but things like, “Rodney saved my live!”; “I wouldn’t be sober if it wasn’t for him!”; and “My family loves him because they got their son back.”  For me, who knew him mostly as a seeker, these revelations of his beloved place in the recovery community and his church were [eye-openers].

How much we have to learn about others, even those we think we’ve come to know pretty well!  Maybe, as the minister at the Metropolitan Community Church said last night, God needed his help “up there.”

Rest well, dear friend.

Handling Cravings

A craving is a feeling that we want to get high — to forget who we are, what’s happening, what happened in the past, things that worry us, family problems and so forth. There are times when we’re unable to think about anything else, and others when the cravings are fleeting and easy to ignore…. Handling Cravings

Denial on the street: “But officer, I slowed way down!”

I answer a couple of dozen emails and blog comments a week, dealing with various aspects of addiction and recovery. Every now and then it becomes clear that someone wants me to cosign a desire to experiment with using again. Most often it’s folks who want to know if I think it would be OK for them to have a glass of wine at dinner occasionally, or folks who have stopped using some drugs but want to go on using another (usually marijuana). So I think it’s time to write a few words about this particular form of denial.

Read more…

Recovery Romance? Ah — Maybe Not

Valentine’s Day is one of our oldest Western holidays, dating back to the 5th Century. Valentine was executed for performing the wrong marriages, subsequently declared a saint, and ever since we have associated his feast day with love, marriage and general togetherness.
We’re told “No relationships in the first year” and here it is, the Relationship Day, so I thought I’d discuss relationships in recovery…

http://sunrisedetox.com/blog/2013/02/14/recovery-romance-relationship-toxic-relapse/

Looking Ahead To A Sober New Year

Now that we’ve had a Merry Christmas, let’s look ahead to the start of a sober New Year: the last day of this year and the first few hours of 2013.  Back in The Day, we used to call New Year’s Eve “Amateur Night.” Be that as it may, there is no question that December 31st and the early hours of the following year are the premier venues for chemically-enhanced “fun.”

Traditionally, on New Year’s Eve the rules are loosened up a bit and behavior that would be looked at askance (at best) on other occasions is tolerated and even encouraged. That being the case, it’s a minefield for people in recovery, especially newcomers. So we here at Sunrise Detox thought we’d share some of the strategies that have helped us have a sober new year.

Read more at the Sunrise Detox Blog