When we were acting out in our addictions, we put our real needs for social, physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual fulfillment on the back burner. Depending on our history, we may have denied one or more of them completely. We may simply have treated them as annoyances that needed to be gotten out of the way, quickly and efficiently, so we could get back to the important business of burying them beneath our addictions.
When we get into recovery we begin to discover a scary truth: that these needs are really as important to human beings as water, food and air.
It isn’t “natural” for us to reach out to others in order to get these kinds of needs met, but we must learn that it is not only possible to do so, but safe as well.
By interacting with healthy, recovering people, we discover that our needs can be met in an unthreatening, nurturing way. We no longer have to hide inside our addictions. Our new life and friends allow us to practice asking for what we need in a safe, caring environment. Then gradually we can take our new skills and understanding out into the world – – connecting with and being a good example for others who have not had the privilege of recovery.