[Believe me — I’ve done all this stuff at one time or another!]
Is our program not working for us? Are we in recovery, or just abstinent? Are we just hanging around the edges talking the talk, but not walking the walk?
Are we hiding behind our intellect, thinking that we know more about how to “fix” ourselves than all those “uneducated” people in the rooms?
Do we even know what their level of “education” is? (I know a mechanic with a MA in History.)
Have we been bragging about our book learning…out loud or to ourselves?
Are we book smart, but reality stupid?
Is it all about us? Are all those other people at fault? Why don’t they know how things “should” be done?
Why don’t we try . . .
- Getting a sponsor
- Actually working the Steps with the sponsor
- Becoming a listener, instead of a talker
- Meditating on humility (Do we even meditate at all?)
- Keeping a daily journal, and being honest in it
- Getting involved in fellowship before or after meetings, or at other times
- Reading the literature a bit at a time and thinking about it, instead of reading all the way through and thinking we know it all
- Listening in meetings, instead of thinking about the wisdom we will impart to the group
- Finding outside help, if needed, with someone who understands our issues instead of someone who thinks the way we think they should?
That’s how the sober people did it. Can we set aside our intellectual snobbery (really just fear-based identity), get out of our heads and into our hearts, and try to overcome our dread of being real?