Five years ago, almost to the minute when I’m writing this, I had a life-changing experience. It doesn’t matter what it was, but trust me, it was one of those moments that you never forget. Continue reading “Some Thoughts About Dealing With Crisis”
We unconsciously seek and evaluate information that supports our own ideas. This is called confirmation bias. For example, we tend to look for news from sources that lean in our direction politically. Thus, what we see and hear confirms our own belief system. We are (usually) either not exposed to opposing views that might give us a more balanced understanding of the issues, or we choose to discount them. It has been shown through dozens of studies that reason bows to belief in virtually all cases. This is most noticeably true in the cases of politics and religion, but confirmation biases exist in every area where a position and/or opinion needs support. This leads to a worldview that supports the idea of them and us. “They” are so messed up! “We,” on the other hand, are the souls of ethical behavior and correct thinking. Continue reading “Confirmation Bias”
“If I leave this twelve step meeting and get hit by a bus, don’t take me to a twelve step meeting–take me to a hospital.”
~ Father Joe Martin
“You can’t think and hit the ball at the same time.”
Lawrence Peter “Yogi” Berra 1925-2015
Imagine this scenario: “Okay, he’s winding up. Hmmm, looks like a fastball. Yep, it’s a fastball. Start the swing…now! Imagine going through that process while the ball is traveling 60 feet at 90 m.p.h. (132 feet per second).
Continue reading “Yogi Knew Baseball (and a few other things)”
We addicts and codependents play a lot of little mind tricks on ourselves to keep from owning our issues and feelings completely. We say things like:
My addict is down at the foot of the bed doing push ups, just waiting for me to get careless. [Reality: there’s no “my addict”; there’s just me. ]
My mind would kill me if it didn’t need the transportation. [Reality: this is getting a little closer, but it’s still personifying my issues as something outside the real me.]
I have some anger about that. [Reality: owning my anger, saying “I’m angry!” Either I am, or I’m not.]
My addict is/was telling me….
Ever said anything like that? If not, I bet you’ve heard it lots of times in meetings, and maybe even in group therapy. Those are examples of the mind games we play with ourselves. They sound cute, and we joke that we don’t really mean them literally. But words are important. Continue reading “Own It!”
“Abstinence is necessary for us not just because of our [physical addictions] but because only when we begin experiencing life without resorting to quick fixes are we able to grow psychologically and spiritually.”
~ Phillip Z., A Skeptic’s Guide To The 12 Steps