“Slips”

I can’t count the times I’ve heard shares in various fellowships like this: “I just had one beer, but I figured since I’d slipped anyway I might as well have another.”  (Substitute pertinent acting out for “beer”.)

All too often, these sorts of remarks are heard from folks who were “out there” for much longer than just an evening or a couple of days, most often for months or years, and they all say it got worse than before.  Because the next morning  Continue reading

How Do You Eat An Elephant?

The other day while I was washing a mortar and pestle in the bathroom sink (too complicated; don’t ask), I noticed that the heavy machined stainless steel pestle seemed to roll quite easily up and down the slope of the porcelain basin.  So I gave it a shove and watched as it kept oscillating up the slopes and down again for a surprisingly long time.  I cranked up the stopwatch on my phone (Imagine writing that 20 years ago!) gave the pestle a good shove, and timed it until it became stationary again.

The back and forth momentum lasted for 7 minutes and 24 seconds!

Later I was demonstrating the Miracle Of The Rolling Pestle to my-wife-the-shrink and got to thinking how important momentum is to recovery. Continue reading

Integrity

Dictionary.com defines integrity as “adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty.”  

Way back in the ‘80’s during the real Miami Vice days, I knew a Dade County police officer whose beat was along the Miami River.  “Jorge” was offered $50,000 to take his lunch break at a particular time — one day, one time.  In those days, that was roughly equivalent to a year’s pay for a patrolman. Definitions are well and good, but when the bag man shows up with 50K and you have kids in school and a mortgage, it’s simpler than that: do I do the right thing,  despite the cost, or the wrong thing?

Continue reading

Addiction is a disease, and we should treat it like one

Ted Talk: Addiction is a disease and we should treat it like one.

 

Hope and Expectations

I hope I’ll win the lottery, but I don’t expect to.

A lot of us addicts get our hopes and expectations amazingly tangled.  Most of us need to take a close look at the difference during our early recovery (and often afterward), because they can cause huge complications in our lives.

Continue reading

The Only Requirement…

Every now and then I’ll run into one of two situations at a 12-Step meeting:

  • Someone will read a statement about “our primary purpose” requesting that sharing be confined to such-and-such a topic; or
  • Someone will comment “We don’t talk about that,  this is ____ Anonymous”.

12-tradGenerally speaking. I don’t have an issue with the first, although I think it ignores reality to a remarkable degree.  But if the issue is carried over to the second it’s another matter.  If a group has a problem with talk about other issues, the proper way to handle it is for someone to take the so-called offender aside after the meeting, and gently explain the rule and why it exists (if they can).  That should be a policy arrived at by the group conscience, not an individual or the service office.  As AA puts it, “Our leaders are but trusted servants, they do not govern.”  [Emphasis mine.] Continue reading