Category Archives: family

Boundaries: They’re what you make them.

Boundaries: They’re what you make them.

“Good fences make good neighbors.”
~ Robert Frost

In some of our fellowships we speak of boundaries, and well we might. Good boundaries are major bricks in the foundation of emotional health and recovery. It seems, however, that many people have the idea that boundaries are like a fence we build around us that others aren’t permitted to cross.  That’s not the case; boundaries guide our behavior, not that of others.

Boundaries are essentially knowing when to say yes or no. Perhaps we were not allowed ever to say “no” to a parent. That crippled us. We felt as though expressing ourselves was against the rules, that it would place us in danger of punishment or, less obviously, by damaging a relationship that was necessary to our survival. We felt invaded and ruled. As a result we may never have learned  that it is okay to make our own healthy choices. Continue reading

Nine Kinds Of Denial

We talk about denial a lot, but how many of us can explain what it really is? Continue reading

Thought for the day 6/18/2018

“We are quick enough at perceiving and weighing what we have suffered from others, but we mind not what others have suffered from us.”
~ Thomas à Kempis

Careful throwing those stones! They bounce!

Over the years of our addictions, many of us developed some pretty sophisticated ways of dealing with low self-esteem. Most of us were pretty good at them before we even became active in our addictions. We may have learned the behavior from caretakers, without even being conscious of it. Continue reading