It seems that addicts, especially in early recovery, are exceptionally inclined to find fault with other entities, whether people or organizations. This is especially true early on when we’re in denial about most everything and our fellowships are beginning to strip some of it away as we kick and scream. But it’s also true about the world at large, and not only those of us who admit to addictions are guilty. Psychologists believe this is partially because it enables people to feel better about themselves, but also due to the human tendency toward binary thinking: wrong v. right, good v. bad, black v. white, our tribe v. them, our warriors (teams) v. theirs, and so forth.
Binary/black and white kinds of thinking may come from upbringing by caregivers who thought that way, religious influences, our desire–perhaps need–to believe we are superior to others and counteract our own doubts, or other reasons. Actually, regardless of the reasons, we’re stifling our ability to understand others and broaden our own horizons. Continue reading “Binary Thinking”
Beware of those who claim to have The Answer.They probably don't understand the question.
The difference between a guru and a teacher is that gurus claim to have The Answer and they want you to accept it; teachers attempt to lead you to your own answers.
The world is full of gurus. We find them on television, on bookshelves, in religious establishments, and in the rooms of recovery programs. They all claim to have found a way to overcome (insert problem here) and that you’d do well to follow their direction or else. This flies in the face of common sense and usually appeals to people who are used to being led around and told what to do. Many folks, however, are likely to find this know-it-all attitude not only annoying but offensive. It only takes a bit of thought to conclude that people who spout dogma and the words of others most likely don’t have much to say on their own. Continue reading “Gurus”
“I heard another newcomer at a meeting complaining about how she’d had God shoved down her throat by her parents, and she wasn’t having any part of this Higher Power stuff, blah, blah, blah. I find this sort of thing tedious, to put it lightly, having listened to and read about it frequently over the years. Even when I was claiming to be an atheist I thought it was shallow and ill-considered. So, since it’s my blog, I thought I’d write about my take on the issue.” More…
For sex, love and fantasy addicts, slips are often the rule for months–even years–before a person ends up with solid sobriety. People usually get to the “S” programs via one of two paths: a vague feeling that maybe they need to change their behavior, or a relatively catastrophic event that exposes them to extreme pressure from spouses, family, often friends, and that can affect their employment and even lead to severe legal issues.