Some Thoughts About Dealing With Crisis

Five years ago, almost to the minute when I’m writing this, I had a life-changing experience. It doesn’t matter what it was, but trust me, it was one of those moments that you never forget. Continue reading “Some Thoughts About Dealing With Crisis”

Expectations, or How To Overcome “The Shoulds” And Have A Happier Life

“Expectations are premeditated resentments.”

“Resentments are like taking poison and
waiting for the other person to die.”

Program wisdom contains lots of annoying clichés. The reason they sound so hackneyed and are so often repeated is that they are true. False aphorisms abound, but most of those in the recovery community have survived because of the old “test of time.” These two are among them.

There are “good” and “bad” expectations (I prefer “skillful” and “unskillful”, but for the purpose of establishing a binary distinction here, either will do). The difference is in communication and intent. Continue reading “Expectations, or How To Overcome “The Shoulds” And Have A Happier Life”

Confirmation Bias

We unconsciously seek and evaluate information that supports our own ideas. This is called confirmation bias. For example, we tend to look for news from sources that lean in our direction politically. Thus, what we see and hear confirms our own belief system. We are (usually) either not exposed to opposing views that might give us a more balanced understanding of the issues, or we choose to discount them. It has been shown through dozens of studies that reason bows to belief in virtually all cases. This is most noticeably true in the cases of politics and religion, but confirmation biases exist in every area where a position and/or opinion needs support.  This leads to a worldview that supports the idea of them and us. “They” are so messed up! “We,” on the other hand, are the souls of ethical behavior and correct thinking. Continue reading “Confirmation Bias”

Father Joe on “outside help”

Father Joe Martin (1924-2009)

 

“If I leave this twelve step meeting and get hit by a bus, don’t take me to a twelve step meeting–take me to a hospital.”
~ Father Joe Martin

Yogi Knew Baseball (and a few other things)

“You can’t think and hit the ball at the same time.”
Lawrence Peter “Yogi” Berra 1925-2015

Yogi Berra in 1949

Imagine this scenario: “Okay, he’s winding up. Hmmm, looks like a fastball. Yep, it’s a fastball. Start the swing…now! Imagine going through that process while the ball is traveling 60 feet at 90 m.p.h. (132 feet per second).
Continue reading “Yogi Knew Baseball (and a few other things)”