No two people see the world and their circumstances in the same way. How could they? We all come from a life of billions of experiences, all perceived and interpreted by our individual brains. These perceptions and interpretations are colored by a palette of emotions, feelings and conscious thought. The results can’t possibly be the same for two individuals. Where else could our reality reside but in our heads? Continue reading “Thought for the day: 5/25/2017”
One of our biggest problems as addicts is that we pursue solutions that we like, rather than those we need.
Many times the best solutions to problems do not produce the outcomes that we want. Members who have been around the fellowships for awhile have seen it again and again: newcomers (and sometimes those not so new) who flail around and exhaust themselves trying to fight what more experienced folks see as inevitable: the need to make changes that we don’t like.
Usually, no one is saying that they need to be made all at once or right away. In fact, program wisdom indicates quite the opposite. In most cases not involving situations dire and immediate, we recommend that any changes be made slowly, with careful consideration of all factors. Since we’re all addicts and codependents, however, we tend to want to sweep things under the rug and ignore them indefinitely, or take the broom and beat them into submission. In either case, we want what we want and we want it now, and we want it the way we want it.* Continue reading “Solutions”
Over the years of our addictions, many of us developed some pretty sophisticated ways of dealing with low self-esteem. Most of us were pretty good at them before we even became active in our addictions. We may have learned the behavior from caretakers, without even being conscious of it. Continue reading “Careful throwing those stones! They bounce!”
“What we think, or what we know, or what we believe, is in the end of little consequence. The only consequence is what we do.”
~ John Ruskin (1819–1900)
Practicing spiritual principles involves more than putting up with others; it requires a sincere desire to understand, respect and empathize.
Self worth wanes and shame remains when we fall short of our values–or are they someone else’s values? When we say “I should” it is worth exploring whose values we are measuring ourselves by.
~ Joe C., “Beyond Belief – Agnostic Musings for 12 Step Life”, May 9th
To become at peace with others,
become at peace with yourself.
Sometimes I find it difficult to embrace the virtue of tolerance. Over the years I’ve noticed it to be pretty much congruent with my feelings about myself. When my self esteem is diminished for some reason, whether it be because of interaction with another person or with the world at large–I want, I want (or “dukkha” as Buddhists call it)–I often turn into that guy who wants to make himself feel better by pointing out the faults of others: their conspicuous consumption, how stupid they are, their low standards of behavior–stuff like that.
On the other hand, when I’m feeling mellow I’m not only more willing to put up with other folks’ flaws, often I don’t notice them at all. If I do, I’m likely to write them off as amusingly human. When all’s right with me, all’s right with my world. Continue reading “To Become At Peace With Others…”