One of the fellowships that I attend is focused, in the early stages, on the process of overcoming obsessions. Obsession of one kind or another is a big component of most addictions, but some more than others.
The interesting thing about obsession is that it is a vice best practiced while alone. Our brains go ’round and ’round, and we are unable to shake the undesirable thought pattern no matter how hard we try. Our minds keep coming back to it, him, her, that, those, and it can seem as though ridding ourselves of the thoughts is like trying to push toothpaste back into the tube. But put us in the presence of another human being with whom we have to interact, and things are different. Continue reading →
“Lookin’ for a home – gotta have a home…” The Boll Weevil Song
“Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to let you in.” Robert Frost, The Death of the Hired Man
Most of us have heard that line from the famous poem in one form or another. It sounds great when you say it, but many of us addicts have discovered that it’s a cruel joke. Some of us were never let in, even when we lived there physically. Others of us were rejected – perhaps as a result of our addictions, or perhaps for other reasons. Some of us were ashamed, and rejected home and family because we imagined that we saw ourselves reflected in their eyes. Not a few of us left as soon as we could for other reasons. The last thing we want – and the thing we want most – is to go back, and we have no idea what might happen if we did. Continue reading →