Tag Archives: 8th step

Thoughts about Steps 8 and 9

In the 8th and 9th Steps we learn to see and examine our deeds without hiding behind our excuses.

Am I (or was I) really ready for those steps? Did I complete them from that perspective? Do I need to take another look?

Twelve Steps …

Prairie Preacher: Twelve Steps …

I had a friend who once spoke of the Twelve Step Two Step … he noted that it is too easy for recovering addicts to take the first and the last step of the 12 Step Programme and skip the 10 steps in between … we spent many an hour discussing the implications and the transformative power of engaging and living ALL 12 steps one careful step at a time.

I’ve always thought the challenging steps are the Fourth and the Eighth.

The fourth step being: “Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.”

And the eight being: “Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.” …

Bill comments:

A proper amends involves the three elements of the old Talmudic reparations: Responsibility, Regret and Repair.

  • I must admit and accept responsibility for what I did. I may not say, “I’m sorry but…” or make excuses. The purpose of amends is not to create a balance; rather, it is to right a wrong and repair a relationship — not the same thing.
  • I must then look the other person in the eye and say, “I’m sorry,” and mean it.
  • Finally, I must inquire what I can do to try to right the wrong, if it is not obvious, and make an genuine effort to do the next right thing, whatever it may be. Furthermore, I must carry through with it.

These efforts may lead to a reconciliation, or to total rebuff. That doesn’t matter. I am doing them for my peace of mind and the cleansing of my spirit, not for the other person.