We all bring secrets into recovery, but we can’t throw our garbage into the proverbial closet and leave it there indefinitely. After a while it starts to seep under the door and stink up the whole house. That’s why we have the 4th and 5th of our twelve steps:
Those steps, shared with a sponsor or other trusted person, help us come to terms with our past. Getting our secrets out in the open gives us the willingness and ability to move beyond that part of our lives. MORE…
Addiction is all about secrets. By the same token, recovery is about letting sunshine and fresh air into the hidden corners of our souls. In addiction we build ourselves a little fantasy world, a totally imaginary place where we go to hide when we act out.
It doesn’t matter if we are alcoholics who seek solace and solitude in a bottle, food addicts who attempt to control our little world by controlling our bodies, shopping addicts who imagine that if we only have that one special thing we’ll be happy, or sex addicts who search for love and solace in porn, online chat rooms or massage parlors. However we set up these magical places in our lives, we do so in secrecy. Even if we brag about how much we can (insert behavior here), we don’t want others to know how important acting out is to us, or exactly what we do. We don’t want to admit that we are trapped.