“The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown.”
~ Howard Phillips Lovecraft
Head Monster, or just Cthulhu?
Lovecraft knew a lot about fear. From “The Color Out Of Space” to “The Call of Cthulhu” he dispensed it liberally, so well that his writings are practically legend and have even spawned a pseudo-religion.
I’ve found that fear is the principal issue that has hindered my recovery over the years, and that “unknown” part is the biggest by far. I’ve spent a good part of my life semi-paralyzed by fear: of not being good enough, of being ridiculed, of being thought “less than,” of losing people’s love and respect, of not looking good, rejection, and abandonment — the real biggies for me. In short, all those things that addicts understand so well deep down inside, if not consciously. Continue reading →
Addicts and alcoholics don’t usually like new and unknown things, unless they’re new forms of acting out. We tend to view them with alarm, because they often interfere with our using. Thus, to addicts of all kinds, change equals bad news, until proven otherwise. We don’t like new ways of doing things, or new ways of relating to life and other people. We find the status quo comfortable; we know how to handle it. Even in the frequent cases where things aren’t going the way we’d like, at least they’re familiar. We hate feeling as though we’re out of control — of ourselves, other people, our lives, our ability to get our fix. We hate change, unless it brings some kind of thrill that we’re already anticipating. We want to get our lives just right, and then have them welded. Continue reading →