Stepping onto the path of sobriety is the biggest decision that an addict will ever make. We don’t choose recovery lightly; there is simply too much at stake. Active addicts are in a position similar to that of an abused child: the child doesn’t dare leave home because it knows it can’t care for itself, and the addict can’t imagine living without the drug that was at first her friend and support, but is now a ravening beast that she doesn’t believe she can escape.
To begin with, it seems to us that there is nowhere to go. Continue reading
I was at a meeting last night where the subject was “bottoms.” The person who brought up the topic was fairly explicit about what he meant when he used the word, but it was clear from the discussion that some of the folks there had rather different ideas.
I had some of what some of those folks were calling bottoms. There was the foreclosure on our home because of my inability to pay attention to the details that could have prevented it. It wasn’t that I didn’t care, or that there wasn’t any money. I was making decent bucks at the time, but I was too messed up by alcohol and other drugs to focus. I felt horrible about losing the home, but it didn’t stop my drinking and drugging; in fact, they increased. Nothing like feeling horrible to give you an excuse to mood-alter. Continue reading