I know that I’ve written about this before, but I had a few more thoughts.
If we examine our lives, all too often we may discover that we are “humans doing,” rather than simply humans being. Many of us find ourselves extremely resistant to slowing down and going with the flow — accepting what the world sends us without trying to live at top speed and influence every nuance of our lives. Perhaps we learned to speed through life because we became convinced somehow that we didn’t measure up in some way, that we had to race to some ephemeral destination to succeed, and that if we could only get there, we’d be okay.
Before we start to make amends we need to honestly face the impact that our addictions have had on others. This isn’t something that we can do right off the bat. In early recovery we are still in denial about many of the effects our using had on ourselves, let alone other folks. Yes, there are obvious things: financial damage, emotional damage, abandonment, infidelities of various kinds, lack of empathy, inability to fill roles in the family and elsewhere, dishonesty and so forth, but there are other, more specific and far more subtle things that may even have affected the people in our lives more than the obvious ones. Continue reading