Addiction and self-delusion are inevitable partners. We adjust our thinking and beliefs as required to justify and protect our drugs of choice, whether they’re chemicals, sex or other addictions such as gambling, shopping and so forth. We rationalize our behavior, and become defensive whenever anyone “calls us on our shit.” We avoid confrontation any way we can, by lies, deception, sneaking around, minimizing our involvement, comparing (He drinks a lot more than I do!) (Everyone my age does it!) (It’s a normal part of life!), and otherwise trying to confuse the issue and stop folks from getting too close to the truth.

These things may fool people temporarily, but we get tangled up in our lies eventually, so that even we don’t know the truth from falsehood. Or perhaps our behavior reaches a stage outrageous enough that even a codependent’s “believer” is overcome, and they have to look the truth in its bloodshot eye. When this happens, our partners become the problem — to our way of thinking — and “if you were married to that s.o.b, you’d use drugs too!” Continue reading →